Hurt..

sorry, I dont know how ppl think of me..how my reader say about me..I now just wanna experess out my own feeling..I can't stand it anymore..now I almost at the edge of becoming insane!

I didn't sleep for the whole night..from 3.45am I lying on bed..just closing my eye.. unable to sleep til dawn has come.Tears didn't trickle down on my face tis time..I thought I'm able to stay strong, but actually I'm weak..for outside and inside! I think of many things..the memories between us from the starting to the end..all crossing in my mind..I really feels bad when I can't catch and hold the happy pieces of our memories and let it stay on..why? why it happen on me again? I just a normal gal..I really unable to accept wat u say..I'm totally blank..

Why u wanna treat me like tis? No feeling anymore? now u tel me all tis? how can I accept?If u wan say so den before that dont call me! don't find me! don't ask me to back wf u again!! It's so hard to let go u knw? when I almost can let go a bit..a bit..den.. u appear and ask me bek wf u.. u treat me as wat?Tat time I really shock, but I'm happy..Coz I stil love u..

When together back wf u..sure gt barrier between us..I dy knw v wont like last time.. but I oso didn't blame u anything.. didn't blame how u treat me, wat u did on me after break.. I just love u sincerely..But then..now u say No feeling? u even tel me ur love 2 me is getting lesser evryday! When I saw wat u type, I really like crazy..out of mind wat should I reply.. I love u so much.. but den u hurt and hurt me again!

How can u change so easily? what promise u have made? I'm sure u dun rmb..I sacrifice all my love to u..into tis relationship..just becoz I love u..but den u treat me like tis..now I really dunno wan how..If can, I hope I din know u before! I totally heart break..heart pain..HUrt, is all inside my heart now..

what's love all about? I don't know..I don dare 2 love anyone anymore~ mum,I miss u.....

**Attention : For those who view my post, if u know him..please don't ask him sth bout tis. He wil feel unpleasant if so..thanks..

listening to: 我知道 by by2

By2 我知道

从来没想过
不能再和你牵手
委屈时候
没有你陪着我心痛
一切都是我太过骄纵
以为你会懂
一直忘了说
我有多感动
我知道你还是爱着我
虽然分开的理由
我们都以接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以即使到最后
还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会在离开时
闭着眼没有回头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实 这份爱没有停过

..................................................................................................................

How important am I in ur heart?definitely not the 1st..erm, 2nd? or maybe the 3rd or 4th?
can I be at least a 2nd? For the first day wf u..til now..I'm still love u sincerely..I stil the same..do u? I have seen changes on u..can u treat me better? pehaps a little better is enough for me..

Time, please stop running in the happy moment!

Sometimes I really wish time can stop running..stop running when v r having happy moments..pass faster in the sad moments..but I know it's impossible..God won't allow everyone of us just to go through the fun time always..In every stage of our life..compose of many things that might be tangible and intangible ..just depends on us have to solve it..When we unable to get the messages of what we did,perhaps will just giving up..and yet we didn't notice when something unpleasant happen on us..on the other perspective,maybe it gives us certain messages to stay strong..

Before I came to kl..I really a narrow-minded person, I admit..and yet now I didn't deny I'm very perfect..=D at least better than last time I think..perhaps now I'm away from my hometown..can't feel the feeling of warm..I miss my parents and siblings.. I really miss them so much..especially my mum, when she know I have to walk alone to school and back home.. she really very worried about me..Although sometimes I will feel annoy when she grumble lots..I know she Love me..and off course ,I love her too~ She's the one that won't abandon me no matter how, no matter where ..mum, I miss u..

Recently I think of many things, really got lots of unforgettable memories in my life.. and sure I will keep in my heart forever..not just a "Delete" button then can forget it.. =p because it is for the people who walk in my life..Everyone need to grow up rite? me too... Now just the starting of my new life, I won't give up easily for a small reason of stress or anything..

I have made my decision to change course to multimedia design..Say " bye bye" to business administration lo..I don't know this is the right choice or no..but since I have changed, so better to work hard in my studies..no regret for it..Now really have to learn to be independent .. everything must be done by myself.. but one thing is that I didn't really know to take good care of my health..>.<

Charge up yahzz..^^

Take care everyone ~

The best way to cheer yourself up is
to try to cheer somebody else up...

STart a day with a smile,
U will feel better no matter how
=p

In dilemma again..

aiyarr~
why always like tat de neh?
everything just come in a sudden..
really don't know how 2 solve it..
now I'm taking Business Administration course in tarc..
but I don't really understand tat well..
esp Intro to Accounting..
I don't have accounting basic..
really quite hard to learn..
I also don't know how 2 learn..
plus the other subjects I also not really interested..

Hubungan etnik..
like history..
I dun like history since I'm small..
but it's a compulsory subject..
evryone must take..
so it's ok lo..

Microeconomics..
I quite like the lecturer..
coz he good in explaining..
but when get into the tutorial class..
really damn stress..
coz the tutor is very strict..
and it's lots of things to memorize..
now I also dont know wan how..


about BMS..
it's sth related to add maths..
actually is still ok lo..
coz I like maths..

But the account I really get sucks in the first chapter..
just a starting..
I really don' know how 2 survive when it's getting tougher..

SHould I change course?
I really like no one subject is interested in BUsiness admin course..
but can find job easily nex time..
What should I do?

I like drawing..
so think of taking graphic design..
but my mum said I'm not creative..>.<
I admit , but tis is what I interested in..

The subjects that should be learned in Graphic Design is :

• Introduction to Information Technology
• English Language
• Design
• Drawing
• conceptual design
• typogaphy

and so on ...

I also think of studying counseling or phychology..
but oso hard to find jobs nex time..
work related to phychology ,social work,
personnel, human resource management or customer services..

The subjects that should be learned in Counseling is:

• Introduction to IT
• English Language
• H. Etnik
• Psychology 1
• Into to counselling
• psychology 2
• English for communication

and so on....

The due date for transferring school is 4th of June..
my brain gonna burst soon nar..
change or no?
Stress Stress Stress!!!